Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Challenges...
Today I am discouraged. I don't know. Last night I took the girls to Ryan's softball game and I left feeling worn out, frustrated, and sad or something. I'm learning that it is a LOT harder taking the girls anywhere now unless they are happy and confined in a moving stroller....but if they are fussy and need to come out, it gets so hard! I hate how I feel like I have to expect other people to hold a girl or two... and I don't like that I can't be the one to comfort my own kid when they just want me to hold them...I can't hold 3 at once! And I don't like how I feel like my kids are being burdens to other people because then they can't even watch the game in peace! I love getting out of the house....but now that the girls want to be on the move all of the time...it is a whole new challenge. I am tempted to become a hermit but I know that's not good either. People have been so sweet and willing to help and hold all of the time....and they have done nothing to make me feel this way. It's just the fact that I make myself feel bad...and wish I could bring my kids places and just be able to hold all 3 and be able to carry on a normal conversation. Things are changing...new challenges...new joys...I'm learning. I can't do this myself. I need others. and I continually need Him.
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10 comments:
Hi Shelly. I'm sorry you are feeling down :( It must be hard to have to let go a little bit since you've gone from being able to hold all three of them to the girls being big and active enough that you can't hold all three at once. Hugs...
Sita
I can only imagine the challenges of having three babies by yourself outside of the house, and I'm so sorry you are feeling frustrated. Just a word of encouragement that this too shall pass, and before you know it, the girls will be out of their strollers and playing nicely together.
We still pray everyday for you guys!
Thanks for the honest blog --- I'll keep you in my prayers as you get use to another stage in the girls lives. I can tell you the time i was around them (at the wedding) it was a joy to be able to hold them and help you out. Sometimes the hardest part is accepting help. They are beautiful girls and I so appreciate you keeping us updated with the blog and pictures. Jody's and Shanes Aunt Vonda
Good for you for sharing Shelly! This happens to mothers of one baby at a time too! I can't tell you how many times I've felt inadequate and a burden throughout our years of moving and adjusting! With just one baby at a time, we've learned to embrace and appreciate the motto "it takes a village to raise a child." Even reflecting on our crazy summer in the village Takum, we could not have done what we did without all of our team members chipping in with the kids. We weren't copping out on our parental duties, we were just letting the Body love our kids and support us as we parented them the very best that we could/can. Tell yourself often that it's okay to need help. If people don't want to help, they'll let you know. Most of all, keep sharing your feelings, positive and negative! It's the only way to survive parenting with sanity! :) You are doing a fabulous job!
Hi Shelly,
My name is Alissa Stuive and I am a sister to Darin Beckering. I got your blog through him and fully enjoy reading your thoughts and seeing the adorable pictures of your 3 girls. I am a mother of 8 month old twins and that is probably why I embrace your blog. I feel many of the same ways you feel (and I only have 2 babies). Somedays.. I don't even get to the shower and other days, I am totally motivated to do things. I too, also feel like going out is a big deal. The babies usually don't follow my schedule when I want them too and then I end of feeling bad and disappointed when they are tired and crabby because they should be sleeping, but I am out with them. My babies are doing the exact things that yours are...crawling, getting into things, not wanting to stay in one spot. You are doing wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I often times feel overwhelmed and then I think how could I add one more baby to the mix like you. Take heart, everyone loves to hold and play with babies...never think your being a burden....you know you would never feel that way if you helped out someone else. Anyways...I am always here for a listening ear. Too bad I live in Michigan!
Thanks
Alissa Beckering Stuive
Shelly,
Don't ever forget that you are the best mom Addy, Emily, and Hailey could ever have! As a mother, I look up to you and the awesome job you do with your girls!
Shelly
I check your blog weekly---I am Shana Meidam's sister-in-law and I admire what you are going through. I am sure no one thinks it is a burden to help out or they wouldn't volunteer. I wish I lived closer and would help out on my day off during the week. Hang in there and we will keep praying for your family. Speaking from experience with helping out--I babysit a friends baby on my day off once in a while and I LOVE IT, I am sure no one feels that way at all with you. God has a plan and like you said--this is another challenge :)
Keep praying,
Trisha Kok
Shell,
I am very proud of you for posting your heart. You are an allstar mom at a completely new level. You are an olympic champion in every eye! We, your friends, love holding your kids any chance we get and supporting your family in anyway we can! This won't be easy, but it will be an incredible experience you will never forget and all you need is to ask and we will all come running joyfully! Addy, Hailey and Emily love the mom time they get with you! Don't be a hermit because you bring life and smiles everywhere you go. I'm giving you an e-mail hug right now...muah. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability - you are a role model to all us blog readers!!! love you girl
tate
Hi Shelly-I feel the EXACT same way! I guess it's just a multiples thing! We've gone to event after event and someone else always has to hold the babies. I know they enjoy it for a little while, but I also feel like a burden. It's tempting to sit at home and just not go, but then you'd be missing out on life. We should get the babies together for a playdate sometime! Seems like we are going through all the same stuff. Keep your chin up! I know it can be VERY hard some days!
Kathryn Indermuehle
Hey Shelly,
I love reading your blog and imagining all the fun-times-three you must have with your girls! Sometimes I know at times there must be frustration-times-three, too.
A month ago, I was at a youth group pool party with our daughter (19 months) and had to jump up from a conversation a number of times to keep her safe and out of trouble. At one point, I heard a couple of the parents of teenagers I was talking with say to each other "Do you remember those days, when you could never finish a conversation because your kids were on the move?" In their voices I heard amusement, compassion and a tinge of sadness mixed with relief that those days were gone for them. I felt enormously comforted, even in my frustration, that every parent has felt the way I was feeling that day.
Hang in there! And hang on Him, like you said. One day you'll realize that it got easier without you even trying or doing anything different!
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